Iron Heart
by Modest Jonathan
Summary: Liv gets rapped again and Elliot and Olivia's hearts r drawn together like magents. liv might be pregnant and what's El gonna do? don't wurry guys i got a beet now so it's gonna be better keep reeding it.
1. Chapter 1

a/n hey guys this is my first fan fic and im really proud of it. also i love elliot and olvia benson. be nice and reveiew review review! Ok, here we go.

olivian Benson nailed another bad guy, it made her feel really good to kno that she was defeating evil people. like her daddy, because she knew he was an evil person but she woul dnever find him to defeat him. That made her mad so she talked to Hang about it sometimes.

"HEY livia!" "Good job today!" said Elly Stabler the love of her life. they had been partners for more years than five but she didn't know how many. she loved him from the day she joined SVU. but she couldn't ever kno what he was thinkin because he was so intense all the time. she was too scared to ask him ever besides she didnt think their captian Crangen would like it.

but now livia had something to tell elly she couldn't avoid it. She really had too. SHe saw him at his desk doing some paperwork or maybe drawing pictures like she sometimes did now. She saw the power of his hands holding the paperwok. and his serious eyes looking concentrated, not noticing livia's desperate longing a couple feet next to her. she liked his brooding intensity it made her feel safer she thought he wold protect her. She was just bout to ask Elliott to talk to him but then Cran came suddenly up to say

"Hey there's some guy got rapped somewhere you guys goo invesitagte."

Elliott and Olivea looked up and went quickly to where Cranv had told them to go. They found the perp really quickly becuase they were such incredible detectives and no one was better than they could be. They drove him straight to jail without even talking to their ada because they were so sure he was evil.

livia knew finnally it was time to tell.

"Elli I have something to tel you." livia said.

'wot is it liv you kno u can tell me anything.' Livia was glad to here this because she was afraid elly would be like a stone.

'well glad to here that elly.'

'ok well what is it u wanna tell me bout?'

'well. ely, its relly had to say.. but ok hear i go." 'Ok. Elliott, I was rapped."


	2. Chapter 2

'omg livia wat do you mean "rapped?" I dont understand.'

suddenly a bad guy ran up and grabbed liiva and ran off before elliot could get him because he was tryin so hard to understand what 'rapped' coul d mean.

"WAt! Livia where'd you go. Omy gosh u just got kidnappeded. what will i do now. olivia's gone and ill never be able to tell her my deepest feelings about her. especiialy that i love her so much more than kathy.'

elliottt looked up and saw the bay guy still running off carrying livia down the street with people walkin around them. he didn't kno why someone would ever do that. but then he rememberd what livia had said about being 'rapped.' maybe that had something to do with this bad guy. elliot thought deeply but coudlnt understannd anything so he just kept sitting there watching the bad guy getting farther and farther away.

Suddenly crfgen appeared and said Elliott wat are you doin I heard Olivai was kisnapped.

'hey captian what's up yeah she was kidnapped there goes the bad guy right now.'

'man that sucks' said craven 'what should we do.'

'well she siad something before she got grabbed and i coudn't understand it. she said she got 'rapped"

"Om my gosh elliott that means someone had sex with her.'

suddenly elliott became so angry that he punched the car window and broke it but his hand was okay because he was so strong.

"elliot we hav to go save her now.'

elliot didn't need encouraging now he jmped out of the car and raced down the road running faster than most of hte cars that were driving. Carevan then got in ellis car and drove after him.

by now the bad guy was relly far down the street but livia was smart so she had been ripping pieces off his shirt and throwing them on the ground because sh e knew eliot would eventually rescue her.

after seeing ten or 11 peices elliot rezlized livia was trying to send him a messaage. eliott said 'wow livia you're so smart that's why i love you ' even tho he was out of breath.

soon Cravvn caught up to elli and elli got in cuz he was tired of runing now.

"Crafn see those pieces of cloth on the ground livias tryin to send us a message so follow them.'

"ok got it'

soon they got the guy and craven drove in front of him to stop him. the bad guy stopped and sed 'get the crap out of my way i'm kidnapping this girl!'

Elly got out of the car and said 'wow u look just like richard white.' and then he jumped rigt over it running up and crashin the perp in the face with his super fist punch. the perp flew ten feet backwads and elly caught livia in his arms.

'o my gosh elly thanks so much for saving me.'

'liivia i finally understand wat u meant when u said u got rapped i'm so sorry wat can i do to make u feel beter.'

'well its too late no i just got rapped again while you were tryin to catch that bad guy now i'm pregnant with either twins triplets or maybe even quintuplets'

'oh my god livia you got rapped again and now ur pregnant what are we gonna do now.'


	3. Chapter 3

"well livia you gotta come home with me i dont want u going alone 2night after gettin rapped so many times. i would invite you to my house but wait i remembered that i have a wife there so lets just go some where else.'

elliottt took his love livia benson to central park and they camped out there. eliot put up his tent and fixed some good food for dinner and said here liv have so munchies haha but dont think it's munch i promise i don't eat people!"

Oliva laughed because elis joke was so funny and it almost made her forget about being rapped but then she rememberd again and said 'eliott i feel really bad about being rapped what will i do if i have twins triples and or even quintuplets i won't be able to take care of them all.'

'i don't know liv but let me call crann first because i forgot to ask him if it was cool if we stay together tonight."

Eliott dialed his number. "hey crag what's up just calling to ask if its cool if liv and I stay in the park tonight."

"Oh yeah El that's no problem just don't be late tomorrow. OH, and is Olivai okay after being rapped?'

'Yeah she seems fine eliott said even tho liv was crying on the ground. But he didnt want ot worry crafen so he just said she was all good.

"Okay cool El well just take care of her and i'll see ya tmw."

"cool cya cap."

so then elliott went off and found some flowrs growing in the park and cut them with his long marines knife that he always carried with him and took them back to livia who was still cryin.

"Hey liv got you sum flowers here." he handed her the flowers and he tears dried up immediately. 'wow El i feel so much better now thanks so much you're so kind.'

"yeah' Elliot blushed. 'i thought you deseved 'em after being rapped so many times.'

'thanks el.' livia looked into elliots eyes and they just sat there staring deeply at one another.

but then olivia said 'Hey that looks like Finn!"

just then Fin ran by then. "Hey Finn!" said Elliott.

Fin stopped his running and said hey Ellit and livia wut are you guys doin here right now!

'Well we're just camping out.' said Elliot. 'wat about u?'

'Oh cool. I'm just jogging aroudn some that's a nice tent you got there.'

'yeah!' said Elliot. "I got it from the marines it's bulletproof so I kno we'll be safe tonight.'

"wow… that's really cool Elli. well i'm gonna keep jogging see you guys toomrrow.'

"yeah see ya finn!" they said.

then Ellt said, "liv sorry I didnt know if you wanted him to kno about you being rapped or if he wuld understand what 'rapped' meant so i just didnt mention it.' yyeah thanks Elliott I dunt relly feel comfortabe talkin about that right now. I'll have to wait until I know how many babiesI 'll have to tell anyone."

"Yeah that's a good idea liv. Now listen there's something I want to tell you."

they got into Elliot's bulletproof tent which wasn't that big really and then crammed in Elly said, "ok liv. well, I love you."

"Oh relly! Elly, well i love you too! will u be the father of these babies I've got?''

"Yeah liv that'd be cool I'ld love to.'

"ok great, well I'm relly tired after being rapped so much so let's go to sleep now.'

'cool Liv.'

Liv and Elly curled up in the bulletproof tent in the midle of central park new york with bums and hobos wandering around them and went to sleep peacefully under the stars which they could see through the mesh flap above their hands and elly said look's there's the big dipper and the little dipper but those are all i know and livia said wow elly i never knew that and they curled up and went to sleep and were totally happy for one night in their lives.


	4. Chapter 4

While they were sleeping suddenly Elliot woke up and said to liv ' hey livv wake up I just realized someting."

"Oh Elliot wut is it?" Liv said waking up.

"well I couldn't sleep like always so I was thinking and I rememberd I'm married to Kathy so I probably won't be able to like marry you or anything… I also forgot to tell her I wasn't coming home tonight so she'll probs be really mad at me. Oh look she's called me twelve times already."

"Oh no Elly what are we gonna do?'

'It's okay liv just alm down i promise I won't leave you. I relly luv u liv. Oh hey that reminds me I've always wanted to date you, so um are we dating now?'

"Sure El but what r u gonna do about your wife?'

'Well I'll text her in a minute but first I've gott to change my text tag to lul for love you liv. I've always wanted to do that but I thought it'd be weird if we weren't dating.'

'Oh great idea El that's so sweet of you.'

'All right now let me text KathyI hope she's not freaked out by the 'lul'

Elliott started typing

_Hey Kat sry i missed ur calls i was busy work but i think i want 2 get a divorce cuz i love olivia benson. ok cya. lul._

'all right I texted her. but she probably won't get it for a while cuz shes sleepin.'

"ok let's go bak to sleep then I'm still pretty tired.'

Eliot and Olivvia went back to sleep but really Elliot just held Olivva tight until she fell asleep because eliot never slept very much because he was alway thinking about his problems and usualy thinkin abou t the love of his life Olivia benson and her chocolate brown eyeballs but right now he couldnt see her eyes so he wasnt thinking about those. he was just hopeing that his wife Kathy would be cool with the divorce. Eliot never really liked her very much anyways he had just gotten her pregnant and then had to marry her.

well, soon enough the sun came up and Elliot said hey liv my love the sun's up we should probably go to work now. Liv said 'yeah ok let's go.' They were so in love they didn't even mind that they didn't take any showers or wear any new clothes they just went right back to work like they were.

While they were walkin they saw an exploded firehydrant and water gushing everyweher so Eliott said liv wait and taked his really nice andexpensive jacket off and ruined it in the water so olivia wouldn't get her feet wet. 'Wow El thanks so much no one has ever helped me across puddles before like they do in movies but you did.'

**NARRATORS POV: the building on this street was on caught on fire cuz a car crashed into it and blew up, breakin the fire hydrant too. People were running aroudn yelling and dieing and firemen were rushing into the building with buckets of water from the hudson river cuz the fire hydrant was broke. **

After getting cross the puddle liv turned to elliot and said while standing in the middle of the street with destroyed and flaming pieces of the building falling around them and said 'oh no elliot your jacket is ruined what will u do now?'

"It's okay Liv I would do anything for you don't even worry about it. I love you Liv."

"Awwh, Eliot.' olive's eyes taered up and then ellit rememberd how much he liked her chocolate brown eyeballs and said 'liv I relly luv ur chocolate brown eyeballs. … but not with tears in them.' Then El took off his shirt and wiped liv's eyes and liv's heart was so touched that she leaned in and they kissed each other for the first time even though they had both dreamed about this moment for so long at night while trying to flal asleep, especially Eliottt. They stood their kissing for five or maybe even six whole mintues, or maybe longer, because once they were finsed that building was completely destroyed and the firemen had alreayd gone home to eat hamburgers. 'So hey liv we should probabbly go to work now Cage will be wondering where we are.'

'Yeah, les go' Liv said blushing.

so they got to work and then went to talk to Craven to see how else in New York had gotten rapped today.

'Guys we've got a differnt case today so Crag look at this guy.'

Ellit and LIvv turned to see a big man standing in Crav's office that they hadn't seen at first. Without waiting for Crafen to introduce him the big man said boldly 'I'm with major case squad and I'm investigatign the abuse of mental patients in prison because new york only has one prison for mental patients so i had to go undercover but I wanted to know if u guys could help me out cuz i didnt tell me captain about this. Oh yeah , and my names' Bobby-."

BU-BE-BO! said Eliot.


	5. Chapter 5

BU-BE-BO!" said Eliott.

'what…. the… ' said Cragg turning…

Olivia looked at Elliot. Bobby Goren looked at elliot. Cravn looked at Elliot. Munch and FIn looked at Eliot from outside even though they hadn't heard anything. They all looked at elliot. Elliot just stood there.

"Right… said bobby goren….moving on. "Bobby- 'BUBEBO!' -… Goren is my name … and I'm undercover but i had to pretednt to be crazzy so they wud let me in the hospital and since im a big weirdo and usually take way to long to say anythin gand also say it in a strange way and turn my head it wasnt very hard to do that but - OHH MYY GAWDD!'

A hot girl had just wandered into that cave they were in nad Bobby Goren flipped out but regained his compousure. 'sry guys she looks like the girl thirteen from house MD and Im partly acting to be a triskaidekaphobic to sneak in the mental prison but i take acting real seriously so i flipeed out.'

"Wow r u serious said 13 I'm quit house MD and now I work in that prison I've been looking for you but now that I see that you've been lying I guess nvm."

"Oh. damn.' said bobby.

'Well,' exhaled the cave. "looks like ur covers blown Bobby'

BU-BE-BO! said Elliot. Liv looked at him with a freaked out expression on her face. Crag looked at him with a freaked out expression on his face. Goren looked at him with a freaked out expression on his face. 13 looked at him with a freaked out expression on her face. Munch and Fin were playing strip-checkers so they didn't notice this time.

then later Bobby Goren from major case squad and 13 had wandered off somewhere so Cragg fainnly said, 'hey you two hurry up and go catch some more rappists I think I heard that there was one on 15th ave. today.'

'ok cap we're on it.'

They both ran out.

Liv and El decided not to take the squad car so they could get some exorcise by running so they were running down new york city and liv suddenly said, oh yeah hey El, I'm really, really, sorry for slapping you five or maybe six times in _Zebras_ I really didn't mean to but that complete idiot Dale made me."Olivia also apologized for kissing Dale even tho she really enjoyed it but El was being manly so he was like 'it's cool Liv i didn't doubt you for a second and oh yeah I luv you a lot here I got you this box of chocolates too' "wow thanks Elliot" Livva wondered when Ellito had tha chance to pick them up but she didn't really think about it very much because she started to eat them

"They remidn me of you chocolate brown orbs looked I carvaed them all into perfect spheres just like your eyes.' 'aww ellit that's so sweet of you thanks a lot. I've been having chocolate cravings too cuz of my pregnancy with twins triplets and/or even quintuplets so how'd you know?'

'just's male intuition I guess.'

'hey that guy loooks like a rappist" Olive said pointing to a suspicious looking guy on the sidewalk.

"Ur right liv, I'll handle it.. " Det. Stabber turned and ran across six lanes of really heavy traffics and tackled the man into the ground punchiing him several times and then he and liv carried him back to SVU to arrest him.

'Well Cravn we solved another case'

'Good job guys I knew I coul dtrust you. Now take some time off, u deserve it.'

'thanks cap, see ya.'

While they were leavin munch and fin were practically naked because of their game of strip-checkers and the cap didnt like he so he bellowed from his cave "MUNCH FIN GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE'

"Hey liv loook Kathy texted me finally,' 'She said, 'yeah El that's cool we can get a divorce if u want.'

'oh awesome! said Livv.

Then Elliotttt took Oliv his love to a Italian restaurant and they got a bucket of spagetti and ate it all trying to eat the same noodle so they would kiss like in that movie with the dogs every1 has seen but they didn't have any luck so they ordered anotehr bucket of spaghetti and still couldn't so Elliot got mad and shot the chef and kissed olivia and then they ran off.


	6. Chapter 6

a/n ok guys i would really appreciate some constructive reviews if u dont like how im writin just suggest some corrections doent just call me evil. ok thanks a lot heres ch. 6.

so after leving the italian restaurant el said 'lets go back to my house now that kathy and i r getting divorced it wont be very akward.'

'sure El but r u sure that she won't hate me.'

"Yeah I know her she's the realy peaceful type.

so the rode a cab back to el's house and el said 'hey everyone this is liv im gonna marry her now and kathy and i are gettin divorced'

his kids said "cool dad we're glad now ur won't have to be so angry and take things away from us!"

"Great' said El 'hey kathy do u mind sleepin on the couch tonight so liv and i can sleep in our bed. we're pretty tired after campin out last night."

"Oh yeah sure said Kath.

so el and liv went upstairs to their bedroom and el said liv i love u so much even tho i never got to kkno you very well after bein ur partner for 12 years. Where do u want to have our honeymoon?"

'Elit I've always wanted to go to the moon but thats probably not possible.'

'Alright I'll see what I can do.'

suddenly the bedroom door creaked open. 'el what was that?' 'i don't know maybe it was one of my kids or our pet panda.'

suddenly a voice said. "You bitch you stole my husband away from me. Now you will pay.

'that voice… said elliott.. 'it sounds so familiar .. its its… oh my gawd its my wife kathy.

'yes you traitor. now she's gonna pay.' Kathy pulled out a shotgun and shot at the bed but completely missed.

'Um, i think u missed said livva'

'oh well i wont miss this time u bitch. take this.'

BAM! Kathy shot again and hit liv who cried out. "uggghghgggg!' she said.

Kathy you bitch oliv is the love of my life and you just killed her' El fumed with rage like never before and jumped out of bed and kicked his wife through two walls. "ahhhhh! take that i never even liked you anyways." then he turned around 'liv liv liv! are you okay oh my gosh oh my gosh ohh myy gawd! Liv! DOn't give up dont follow the light, its okay you'll make it i promise.'

'Uhggg… she moaned.. 'take me… to .. the hospitalll…'

'oh my gawd.' El picked her up and ran out.'

so what do u guys think! IS liv gonna survive? will she have her babies? what happened to kathy! so intense I kno right! so comment and let me kno if i shuld continue or not! yeah EO!


	7. Chapter 7

El was so worried bout his love liv that he didnt even think to call an ambulance and he ran all the eight miles to the hospiatl. He cept taking to her so she wouldnt die. Eliot kicked through the glass doors in the front of the hospital and threw olivia onto the desk and yelled loudly 'someone help her now my wife shotted her with a shotgun!' so doctor house ran up and said sure that sounds screwed up enough that i'll do it!

so doctor house fixed up olivia after a long episode where his team couldn't figure anything out then doctor house had an aha moment because of some totally unrelated incident and figured everything out.

doctor house said Mr. Stabler 'your love of all time olivia benson will be okay. It turns out she was pregnant not with twins or triplets but with quintuplets and the shotgun killed three of them but their sacrifice protected olivia and we managed to get the fourth and five kids out alive but one of them already ran off so olivia has one child now that she named Daniel after Dani Beck.'

'oh wow can I see her? said El.

"Sure, are you happy?'

El said yes.

"don't be.' said house who then stalked off.

'Hey livvy bear said Ellit. r u okay?

"Yeah El my dear I'm fine my babies just all got killed except for this one and one other who ran away said livvy bear holding up a really malformed baby with three eyes.'

'wow that's freaking weird'

'yeah i kno but i still love him.'

'that's good livvy bear I love you too.'

**TEN YEARS LATER**

'OLIVia and el had been living happily for the last ten years. They had gotten married right after leaving the hosptial and bought a house so they could raise Daniel who was now 10 years old.

Daniel was a young boy with spikey blond hair and is freaky three eyes and he loved his parents. he wanted to grow up to be a detective just like his parents and he followed them to work whenever he could but something he never expected but I know about was looming up in his near future that whuld change his life foreva.

One day dani was walking to school and then some kid ran up and knocked him down. The kid loomed over him and rubbed his flaming red hair in Dani's face and spit on him. 'MY NAMES TYRELL!' the kid. he turned and lobbed a grenade over to the side and blew up some random stuff. The flaming hair kid stared back down in2 dani's face and said 'don't forget me.. i'll be seeing you again.' he ran off.

Dani just laid there painfully suffering but he wont forget the flaming hair kid. not because he had tackled him, or spit on him, or rubbed his flaming red hair in his face, or because he blew up that random stuff with a grenade.. no.. he would forget those things…. but…. what he wouldnt foget was that the flaming hair kid had one and only one chocolate brown eye ball crammed in above her nose.

a/n SUSPENSE!


	8. Chapter 8

so Dani got up finally but then he remembered he couldn't ask his parents for help because Elliot had finnally saved up enough money to take Olivia his love to the moon like she had asked for ten years ago so that's where they were right now. he had just gotten a text message from them sayin that they had uncovered a secret astronaut sex crime spree and the were solving sex crimes up there now for a while.

Dani got up finally and thought that the one-eyeball kid was pretty evil but he had never met anyone with more or less than two eyes like him so he decided to follow him to try to find sometin out.

Dani was super smart and had alredy learned all the tricks of following perps from his dad and mom who were relly good at it so he tracked down Tyrell back to his house. Dani simplely stood up and followed the mane of flaming red hair down the street.

when tyrell realized he was bein followed he turned around a throwed another grenade that blowed up some other random stuff and then said 'catch me now!' Tyrell pulled a driver out of a nearby car and hijacked his car and Dani did the same. They had a high speed chase all over new york city for 2 hours until tyrell ran out of gas and so dani caught up with him.

Dani said 'hey man what's up just wondering how u got just one eyeball cuz its kinda like me with three eyeballs.'

'oh i didn't even kno u was behind me. wow. well, since u asked me i've always had one eyeball since i was born my dad richard said it makes me special. but he also tells me other things that i wont tell you.'

'ok cool my mommy livia who is Eliot's true luv says that i'm like that too.

Tyrell looked at him. yeah…. and then he jumped into dani and the world flashed and suddenly the narrative said TYRELL APPEARED!

tyrell said, 'this is a battle and I'm challenging you! prepare urself!'

dani was ready. "Ok let's go!" he said.

tyrell attacked first jumped forward but dani dodged it and didnt take any damage.

then it was dani's turn. He threw a brick from his item list and did 10 damage.

Tyrell was ready. He cast a grenade pyrochasm and blew up Dani pretty badly with 50 damage but Dani had a lot of HP b/c he was level 20 already so he wasn't felled yet.

"Ok, it looks like I'm gonna hav to take things up another level!' said Dani. "Get ready for me!" Dani summoned outer space and his mom and dad Elliot and Olivia Stabler came flying to earth on a space shuttle and crashed into tyrell utterly destroying him. the screen changed bak to normal again and tyrell's character was lying on the ground twitching pathetically.

Dani gained 1000 exp. points from the battle but no coins cuz tyrell was a poor little one-eyed freak.

'oh my GAWD said Liv who wasn't hurt at all after reentering the atmosphere and crashing into the earth at incredibly high speeds "he only has one eye! El… my kid who ran away wut if its him he only has one eye Dr. House said that Dani's third eye was probably added from my other child who survivied when I got shot by ur wife!"

'wut! U sayin that Dani's third eye is from this flame head?"

'yeah Elliot-sweetheart but I don't know how or why that is relevant to this story.'

Just then a man wearing all black on the top of a nearby building said 'hahahaha … muahhaaha.. u dont kno how its relevant… but I do….. muahahaha…..' he swished his black cap diabolically and warped away.


	9. Chapter 9

the man in black had a secret plan and jumped off his building to the ground and then ran over an picked up Tyrell and ran off.

"Wow who was that in black?" said Liva.

'I don't know said Ellito but I'm really proud of our sun for winning that battle so I think we should celebrate.'

'Yeah I'm really proud too let's go fix him some eggs.'

'.. eggs… " said Dani.

so they went back to their house and fixed eggs and every1 was happy. Dani was happy. Elliot was happy. Livia was happy. They were all happy. but that creepy man in the black coat had a plan.

There was still a lot of time left in the day so the stabensler family went to an SVU theme park and rode SVU rides all day long. They rode through the Cave on the redheaded ADAtrain and ate munchables while they watched Fin lookalikes terrifying children. The bought SVU badges and little action figures of the SVU team and all the bad guys they destroyed from the fan shop and then got chinese take out from the cafe even tho it was just called that because thats wut u eat if ur an SVU agent.

then when they were leaving all-the-time-happy-and-smiling Dr. Hang shoked their hands and smiled and said happy things to them so they would feel good. But the man in the black coat ha daplan.

So they went home and made a fire and roasted marshamellows on the limbs of the SVU villains they had destroyed from the SVU fan shop. then they threw the villains in the fire and burned them up and went to sleep peacefully except elliot still couldn't sleep very well because his brooding intensity had never really been cured.

the next day they all got up and elliot and livia went back to catch rappists because even tho they were really old they still did that because dick wolf still told them too and cragener was still their boss although by now he was really really old so he was just on permanent life support in his cave and would occasionally yell things out liek 'hey liv what's up' but today he was dying finally so this time he called out 'hey liv come here i got some tin to tell ya.' Olive rolled in. 'wut is it captain caveman?'

"Well liv… i should have probably told u this sooner .. but well… its just really personall… and i didnt kno how u wuld take it… plus i had to let the statute of limitations run out… so anyways …. well i guess i'll tell u know… just promise u wont' get mad at me… liv i promise it's not as bas as it sounds-'

Cap just get the hell on with it! Yelled Fin. 'All the script says is 'you finally told liv about how u rapped her father.'

DAMNIT FIN THAT WAS MY LINE I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE TO SAY THAT THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON WHY I RAPPED OLIVIA'S MOM IN THE FIRST PLACE!'

omg… you. rapped. my. mom. your. my. dad. said olivia. she didn't know what to do. she didn't know what to think. she didn't know how to act. she didn't know what to do. she didn't know how to breath. but it didn't matter that she forgot all these things because in his rage Craver had jumped out of his life support system to attack Fin who scared children and died immediately.

"Wow. That's fucked up" said Fin.

but the man in the black cloak was watching…

***OMINOUS PAUSE* **(commercial break)

a psychic blob floated across the world reintroducing the scene.

"hey el just found out cragger rapped my mom so he was my dad.'

"wow that sucks " said E. "and all this time u didn't even kno.'

"I kno right. sucks huh?'

"Yeah.. well I guess we don't have to catch anymore rappists now that he is dead. that's too bad.."

'i guess so, but-

suddenly half the building exploded and the man in the black cloak appeared. After laughing diabolically for ten or maybe eleven minutes he finally said "hAaH u guys all feel for my trap!'

'now I'm here to reveal my treu identity. The man reached up to a mask that only conealed half his face but didnt conceal his true appearance at all but when he took it off every1 acted suprised at his identity. OMG IT'S RICHARD WHITE! said every1.

Richard White cackled with laughed hahahahaha ' i rapped u olivia benson and now Im raising our one-eyed freak child tyrell benson white!

"oh you're back again! yelled olive benler. Well take this! Oliva picked up a desk and threw it at him but he caught it and ate it. he was about to retaliate with a nuclear blast when he became distracted by john munch and fin having sex behind their desk, finally able to express their suppressed feelings now that cave was dead.

Elliot said "YOU ASS! u rapped my love and wife's mom and ruined my love oliiava's life mostly for this u will pay

Elliot's rage came to a new extreme and he volcanized into a giant elliot and started stomping around the city. he was now as tall as a building and was destroying and smashing everything including richard white. meanwhile dani stabensler and tyrell benson white had become good freaky-eyeball friends and were watching the mayhem from a building top nearby. everything was gettin blasted and livia was hanging onto elliot's giant leg fer dear life. Kathy was also wondering around somewhere so she died finally. Elliot was really losing it now, his repressed rage from the last 50 seasons of SVU was coming out and sending him off the booker. Elliot was destroying most of new york and his face was pumped and fire hot red his eyes wide and crazy but cassie novak escaped his wrath by flying out of her apartment in a jet like bolt b/c she still had to return in reparations April 13th every1 watch it casey novak is coming back i kno it !

Lucius Blain sat straight up in bed, drenched in sweat. He couldn't fathom the dream- the nightmare- he had just had. He was breathing heavily and felt like the freak dream had lasted for days.

"Jesus…" he said to himself, "where the hell did all that come from?"

He looked around at the bare concrete walls, the vertical iron bars, the small square window. "I guess I"m just being paranoid. But damn, that was so real, although it got pretty messed up in the end."

"Ahh, guess you're awake now, eh?" Called a voice from behind the wall, startling Lucius Blain who was still so disturbed by his dream. The voice continued, "you stopped your moaning so I figured you've woken up finally?"

_Moaning… shit… what if I said something? This isn't good._

Lucius Blain heaved himself up from his bed and moved to the side of his cell near the wall the voice was emanating from.

"Moaning, huh? What do you mean by that exactly?"

"Oh yeah, would've thought someone was torturing a confession out of you except I've been in this damn cell for twenty years and I know we don't get any night visitors."

_Torturing… a confession? _"Listen you prick, what the hell did I say, tell me?"

"Oh there's no need," said a new voice. "You can listen to it again yourself." Lucius whirled around to see a female figure standing just outside of his prison cell holding up a small electronic device.

"This little guy recorded everything you said. I hope you enjoyed your night, because, by my count you'll be having a couple thousand more like it!"

"AHAHAA," the other prison crackled, "now that's fucked up man!"


	10. Chapter 10

**June 5, Trial Part 2**

"Lucius Blain," said a slender Casey Novak as she rose from behind her prosecutors table, displaying her trim body and flowing red hair. "So you thought," she said, walking around and approaching Lucius Blain, who was pinned behind the witness stand trying to feign boldness when in reality he was terrified because he knew this lawyer had a wild card that could expose him that she would pull out any second, "that you could rape and murder a girl and get away with it because you're a detective?"

"Objection!" Called Blain's attorney, but the ploy worked. Before the judge could reprimand Casey Blain stood up and shouted, "man I didn't kill no one!"

Judge Donnelly quickly restored order to the courtroom and admonished Casey to restrict her questions.

"She's gotten a little feisty," said Elliot Stabler to Olivia Benson, who were sitting a few rows behind the prosecuting table to enjoy the show of Lucius Blain's demise.

"Lucius Blain," Casey began again. "Did you know Sonya Lewis?"

"Y-yes… she was a suspect in one of our previous investigations."

"A suspect? Was she arrested?"

"No… she was released." Blain pulled at the collar of his tight shirt nervously, he was starting to sweat again.

"Released? Even though the case report clearly indicates that a female accomplice that fits Sonya's description aided Drake Hays in murder and arson she was released and no suitable other suspect introduced in her place?"

"Objection! Does Ms. Novak have any questions in this digression, your Honor?"

"Ms. Novak…" Judge Donnelly drawled.

"Apologies, your Honor. Mr. Blain, tell me when you last saw Sonya Lewis."

"Umm.." Blain thought hard, "four maybe five days ago.

"And are you aware the she was found raped and murdered two days ago?"

"Yes, I am."

"And you investigated this rape and murder, did you not?"

"Yes, I did."

"And what did you conclude, in all of your one day investigation?"

"WE," Blain emphasized, "concluded that Ms. Lewis was murdered with a silenced handgun and probably had no chance to see her attacker… and-"

Casey interrupted, "did you have any suspects?"

"No, we did not."

"And what is the state of the case now?"

"It is closed."

"Closed? Closed the day Sonya Lewis' body is discovered. Thank you, no further questions."

Blain sat back trying to act natural although he was terrified out of his mind. He still didn't know what he had confessed to in his nightmarish sleep but it was clear that the prosecution was withholding this linchpin until later, which mean he didn't know what to expect.

"Mr. Blain," Trevor Langan said. "Tell me, how was your sleep last night?"

"Pretty shitty-"

"Mr. Blain!" Judge Donnelly burst out, "watch your language!"

"Uh, yes your Honor. My sleep was awful, sir."

"And why is that?"

"I think I was drugged."

"And what makes you think that?"

"My, um, dreams."

"Tell us about your dreams."

Blain shuddered. "They seemed to last forever. They were about all the detectives that investigated me and put me on trial here. Tho- those two were in it," he said pointing to Elliot and Olivia. "It started out kind of normal, but then become increasing insane." Blain's body convulsed involuntarily. "They kept calling each other the wrong names and went out everyday to catch 'rappists' and sh- she got pregnant and had her children the next day after being shotted by h-his wife witha shotgun. It was just to- too much… And theey camped out incentral park and near the end their captain was on life support and then he said to her 'i'm ur father' and she flipped out… Oh it was horrible!" Blain was sweating profusely and fidgeting.

"and there freaky eye children were having RPG battles and they wer on tha moon and then they went to some SVU theme park wher eevrythin was messed up and that one dude frightened children up and then tha mad cop gotted huge and destroyed new york city except she flew away and … and…. the worst part of it all was….. THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS ALL A STUPID NIGHTMARE UNTIL THE END OF IT WHEN I WOKE UP EVEN THOUGHT I SHOULD HAVE KNOW BECAUSE IT WAS SO STUPID!"

Blain was writhing about now, inconsolable, and the judge ordered that he be removed from the courtroom. Two, and then three, policeman came up to escort Blain out, who was still yelling wildly, becoming more insane every moment. He was still yelling, "and sum rude doc was there who birthed livia's twins and or triplets or maybe even quintuplets… and wen he said dat three of them died fromed the shottedgun to save her life i still didnt wake up even tho it was obviously a dream and then eliotttt was like 'baby i luv u im gonna make my text message tag luv u luv and then text my wife and ask her for a divorce over a test message while we're campin out in centarl pakr with homos and hobos wandering aroudndndn….AHHA BUBEBO!"

His voice trailed off as he was dragged out.

George Huang leaned up to whisper into Elliot and Olivia's ears from behind them, "Yeah, sometimes the drug has the effect of inducing the deluded dream mentality upon the person when they try to recall the dream."

"Well, sounded like a pretty good dream to me," Elliot said, winking sideways at Olivia. "Although he must have been completely dumb not to realize it, I mean that sounded deranged."

Their conversation was interrupted by Casey Novak as she said, "I would like to direct your attention now to People's Exhibit A, a sound recording of Lucius Blain as he slept last night." Casey pressed play on a small electronic device.

Blain's muffled voice began to speak, first unintelligibly and then coherently, "That… that bitch deserved it… that whore… I saved her ass even though we knew she helped Drake Hays… she was going down for it but I got her out, the ungrateful bitch… and then she turns on me like this… she deserved what she got… I raped her ass and left killed there and they aren't gonna find out its me because I'm investigating… I'll cover up my trail and this case will turn cold…"

Casey switched off the recording and then called George Huang to the stand.

"Mr. Huang," said Casey, "please inform us of the nature of this confession."

"Mr. Blain was administered a governmental prototype drug which induces fantasies in REM sleep and causes the recipient to involuntarily vocalize their most pressing and emotionally-stimulating thoughts."

"In other words, his confession was an admittance of the truth?"

"Yes, in 100% of cases tested these so-called 'nighttime admissions' have been accurate."

"Thank you Mr. Huang, no further questions."

**June 8, Trial Part 3**

"And how does the jury find the defendant?"

"We find Mr. Blain guilty of rape and murder in the first degree, along with-"

"All right that's bull!" Shouted Lucius Blain jumping up. "They gave me some freak drug!" He yelled pointing at Olivia and Elliot.

"Mr. Blain! That is enough!" Ordered Judge Donnelly. "Abusing your badge to let a criminal go free and then raping and killing her because she spurned your love is just too much, now get out of here!"

"Well, that went well," said Elliot as he Olivia and Casey left the courtroom.

"Yeah, what a dumbass," said Casey. "What do you say we head back to the precinct and see if anyone else wants to go out for drinks?"

"Sure, that sounds great!" Olivia said.

As the three walked back into the precinct John Munch and his never ending train of conspiracy theories called them over and said, "hey guys get a load of this! This guy was just arrested for posting alternate reality stories to blog-sites on the internet about politicians and celebrities. He grouped them into awful romances and had them do all kinds of ridiculous things. He is being arrested for slander and conspiracy. It's real bad stuff, look, Bill Gates and Lady Bush, Christian Bale and Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie with Harry Potter! It's awful stuff, what a disturbed mind… and look at all the people who took him seriously!" Munch scrolled down a list to where other blog users had commented, encouraging the writer to get his head checked out.

"What a loon," said Casey, "he's either out of his mind or playing a big con game."

By now Elliot and Olivia had slinked off and started to have hot sex because this story is not serious enough to give them a real romance and we all know they have been suppressing their urges for too long now.


	11. Author's Postscript

**AUTHOR'S POSTSCRIPT**

Okay, seriously guys, this was meant to be a joke.

My sister and I were talking about really bad fanfictions and decided to make an awful one and see how people would review it. Don't say I should have been more forthright from the beginning because I gave plenty of hints that this was a joke (Elliot not knowing what "rapped" meant, consistently misspelling Cragen's name every way possible except for Cragen, the death of three of the quintuplets and the birth of the remaining two a day after conception, the 'narrative point of view' in the middle of the story to describe the burning building, Dr. House, 13, Bobby Goren, the reference to _Zebras_ and obvious plug of _Reparations_?). Also no one made you read this and I'm sure you laughed at least once along the way (I mean astronaut sex crime spree on the moon and an SVU theme park, come on?) so it couldn't have been all bad, right. Besides, I turned it into a legitimate story in the last chapter so you can't hate me too much.

I do apologize for deceiving those of you who took me seriously and offered your kind and patient support to what appeared to be a solecistic writer.

Also, I know many of you meant well in your reviews, but seriously…? Criticizing the bad grammar of a story without even proofreading your reviews? "gIving," "surffing," "annunciate," "writting," "pradory" … and using text talk in general, "r" "u" "ur" …? Okay guys… And I don't know what the hell a "betta" or a "beat" is.

Anyways, this is a freaking parody. In the future I'll be more blunt and say so in the summary but frankly you should have realized it was meant to be funny. Okay… anyways… that's it…

Also, much thanks to WWEelliv4eva and That fucking Bitch for defending me, and major kudos to Bucken-Berry for being the first one to recognize that this was NOT meant to be taken seriously before Ch. 10. Thanks Bucken-Berry! Also, thanks to those who gave me good reviews after realizing what it really was.

And a prize to whoever calls the 'BUBEBO' reference.

And sorry for changing my pen name, I needed to change it.

One last thing. I am a guy. And I'm 21 years old. And also known as Dullahan.

** *cue now for facepalm**


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